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I am a 60 year old father of my son and the grandfather of his three children. My divorce was over 35 years ago. From when my son was 2 years to 11 years, visitation was very inconsistent especially on key days such as his birthday or on Christmas. My ex and her parents (my son's grandparents) did many things and tricks that intentionally alienated him. I could write a book about it and them. They even changed his surname to my ex's maiden name.

My ex moved out of state over 2,000 miles away when he was 11 for fear he would choose to live with his father. Shortly afterwards, she wrote a plain and simple letter that stated, "I always wanted you and your son to have a relationship. If you want visitation, here's where you can pick him up" and gave the address where she moved to. Although I tried to communicate there was none. Remember this was before cell phones and internet. Later I found out he never received any of the cards I sent. There was no communication for over 12 years. She had and STILL has him believing that it was I that did not want a relationship with him.

At the age of 23 and only by the encouragement of his new wife, my son took a chance to contact me. Of course he was greeted with open arms and NO strings attached. We still live over 2,000 miles a way but he and his family life within 5 miles of his mother at the same place she moved to. Since being re-united, the outcome of a child raised by a obsessed alienator and her parents to destroy the children's relationship with the targeted parent has taken its toll on our LONG DISTANCE relationship of over 13 years. It has now also carried to the next generation, his children...my grandchildren, all three of them ages, 9, 8 and 6.

Even though today he will call and talk, he shows no respect for me or my family and has used me as a pawn when he can. In fact, underneath the smiles and nice hellos, it is degrading disrespect. I do believe he does not see it that way since he has been programmed (brainwashed) and feels no guilt. He has not instilled to his children respect for me as their grandfather. There is no communication initiated from his children except the call on Christmas Day most likely so he saves face with his children. My mother, his children’s great grandmother does not even know their first names because my son has not encouraged that communication or respect.

His mother was and still is very controlling and manipulating and to this day he still chases her. He was her only child and she is not married. I wonder sometimes how his wife feels sharing her husband with another woman. However, she came into this and met with my son after his mother moved so she fell in love and knew him ONLY of his manners, behaviors, habits, and family values that his mother had instilled in him.

I read somewhere "if there is any body out there that would like to know? what it feels like, that hasn't, had it happen to them! well put it this way, your life has no meaning, and all you feel like doing is curling up and dying." I could not agree more. I’ve been struggling with it for over 35 years now and will surely take it to my grave.