Luke screamed as the ambulance sped into town, sirens wailing. The two ambulance officers, two men, stood over Luke blocking me off purposely. Luke was terrified. I pushed my way through the two of them and grabbed Luke and held him tightly to my chest. He stopped crying immediately.

We were tight me and Luke. He was around a year old. This would be the second time he would be onn the front page of the Cairns Post. The first time was when his mother had started a fire, not thirty cm from his head while he slept. I had told her countless times not to put a tea towel over a lamp, it would catch on fire. She continued doing it regardless, and Luke was always right next to the Lamp. My step dayghter, Lukes six year old sister, Kayla grabbed him and put him in a pram and got him outside as the house burnt to the ground. Luke's mum was out the back having a cigarette. Kayla was a hero. That was the big story.

Luke and I hugged each other tightly. The ambulace officers looked at me in disgust. My basby had been given speed. This time the headline would read "Baby X, Drug Baby" and iI remember there was not one paragraph in the whole story that did not contain a straight out blatent lie. When Luke died, the Cairns post said nothing about it. They knew about it but. The Australian Newspaper had Luke's photo on the front page with the story going right across the front page and right across page two.

There is a definite stigma in society about people on drugs, you can't be a good parent or worker, or anything. Why aren't all the other fathers who aren't on drugs doing what I am doing, but better. Where are they. Sixty three deaths in Qld and over a hundred in NSW. There is more to me than a drug habit. I am just waiting to leave Cairns and I will leave the drugs behind, like I did last time.

Last time Luke's Dad Left Cairns.

I would Like all of those parents and siblings to join Luke's Army, or Citizens against DoCS or do something. I don't care if they use drugs, if they are gay, a business man or simple simon the pieman. I am not here to judge. I can handle beign the lowest specimen society has to offer. The true meaning of being mislead is to believe one's self finer than the others.

I awoke with Luke screaming. Luke's mum threw the first bottle of formula at the wall and milk went everywhere. She was livid because I wouldn't allow her to breast feed him in her state of total intoxification. Luke was still screaming as I made up the next bottle. His mum hovered around as if waiting for a chance to bring about some type of harm This is how life was for the three of us. She would no hurt Luke unless I was there. It was always aimed at me. Hurting Luke was the best way to hurt me. I have no wish to crucify Luke's mother, but if I have to walk over her to get to child safety I will. She used Luke to hurt me. She is a sick woman after twenty years of drinking cask wine. I would have left her if not for her falling pregnant. I didn't think I could have kids, but I prayed for twenty years for a son, and Luke was the gift that God gave me.

Her abuse of Luke started when he was still in her stomach. I had never been engaged or married, but when she told me she was pregnant, I proposed to her. I called off the wedding when she was six months pregnant after I got a call from a disgusted drug dealer to let me know that the acid she had ordered was ready to be picked up. I called off the wedding., This seemed to work a bit, she stopped drinking so much but would still smoke bongs of tobacco if we fought. She even shoved her stomach in front of me as I stormed past during an argument. That was one of the thinkgs she did. She did her best to reciprocate a violent reaction. Luke was a weapon against me before he was even born.

The nurses at the hospital looked at me the same way as the ambulance officers. Luke, Luke was fine as long as he was with his daddy. That didn't last but.

When I finally had a second bottle made up, with Luke still screaming the whole while, it was about a third of the way down when she came in and stated "He's not gonna sleep."

"What was that?" I questioned.

"He's not going to sleep."

I put Luke down and chased after her. I had serious suspicions about her poisoning Luke with speed before, I can't prove that, but this time I had her. It was true, he did have amphetamines in his system, and it would not be the last time this would happen. When a baby has ingested speed, they make a sound like a dying cat. Luke was not that bad on this night, but I was mortified. I rang an ambulance without hesitation. Luke always came first, and if she had given him speed I was desparate to catch her out. There was no speed in the bottle, so I guess it might have been through her breast milk. Whereever it came from , she knew about it.

I knew I had speed in the house but I didn't care. I had had enough of the whole drug bullshit. I basically dobbed myself in. I knew they would go through the house and find it, high on a rafter, hidden from Luke and his mother. After this I would never bring it back in the house again. I would go out at night(everyone has their own way of getting off it, I had a bad habit and gradually through determination and my love for Luke I cut down to nothing, and then left Cairns) and I would come back each morning at six am. I had moved her out of my room. Luke had the middle room and I was on the other side. Each morning Luke would be in his cot facing my wall crying "AAAAAAD, AAAAAD." I had taught him to say "Ad" as he couldn't say Dad yet.

I was charged for posession. Luke was kept in hospital from the thursday morning before easter until tuesday afterwards. I was told on the thursday afternoon that the lady from docs would not pull punches. She had the long weekend off and would look at making a decision on tuesday morning. So what happened? Luke's mother told DoCS I was trying to set her up, and they took her side. She was a victim of domestic violence. She gets bashed up about once a week now, by various people she abuses and antagonises when she is blind drunk. She doesn't stop until she is hit. It makes her feel proud of herself of something, she can take a flogging. I tried the walking away. I tried everything, I could still hear her screaming at six in the morning from two blocks away with Luke in the house.

She didn't care less about arguing in front of Luke. I couldnt't get Luke out. They wanted me gone, and her to have the baby. All this despite her extensive list of public complaints to DoCS regarding the neglect of her two older daughters. She was even more cocky after that. She was mother of the year as far as DoCS mwas concerned.

My first trauma counselling went for three and a half hours with stories like this. Everything I said to DoCS they ignored. Noone knows everything Luke went through except me. This is just a glimpse. Who cold I talk to , who could I ask for help.

The lifeline counsellor I went to for anger management counselling told me there was some syndrome named after some idiot doctor that if there was domestic violence it wasn't the womans fault for harming the baby. I went off. So you tell me it is my fault she gave a baby speed. It was my fault she burnt my baby with a cigarett. She still sends me messages and rings me drunk in the middle of the night trying her best to do my head in. Not so bad now that I told her I put the photo of Luke with the cigarette burn up on the net.

CAN YOU PICK WHICH PHOTO HAS LUKE WITH A CIGARETTE BURN???